It is fourteen years since you left and you did it unexpectedly , in few seconds, without a witness ….
that day the 20th of November i called you in the morning before my yoga practice, which was unusual, i was always calling you later in the day , but i had this urge to talk to you, you were asking me about my friends you knew , you asked me not to go to india for the fourth time and i promised not to ….. i was telling you about the car i got for my birthday, which was few days earlier, it was our last conversation …..
right after i went to do my practice and i heard the phone ringing several times, which annoyed me and it was my sister to tell me that you died … after talking to me, you set in front of TV to watch one of your favorite shows and before it started you were gone …. what a privilege to die like that … what a nightmare for the rest of us !!!!!
thirty five years ago i left you, i emigrated to canada with my son and my husband, i hurt you so much by doing that …. i could only imagine how hard it was for you …
we use to talk a lot on the phone, i have been calling you few times a week, i very much enjoyed our conversation about life, religion, what is happening after we are gone from this earth; you promised to tell me what is going on on the other side when you die, you promised not to come back here, you promised to go to the source and you kept your promises ….
my biggest regrets are that i didn’t say i love you enough, that i didn’t ask more questions about your life, i know so little about you and you experienced so much, knowing you better will help me to know myself and deal with my traumas …