life was already hard for me when you still were around, now it is unbearable ….
a part of me is missing, it is gone for ever, it is with you; joining you on the other site seems to be the best and only option to be whole again …
if I could talk to you now, if I knew where you are and how you are doing, it could make the pain easier on me ..
I see you everywhere, the constant realization that you are not with me any more and you are not coming back is destroying me, I have never suffered like that, was i spared by life and now i will never go back to this innocence??
to cope, I make fists, I breath out through open mouth, I run away from home, I run away from myself, from my mind…
I know, that I have to save myself, but I don’t know how ….