will it ever end?

I am in hell for the last eleven weeks, it is in me and around me, like water for the fish swimming in it, with no end in sight , with no help from others, I have to do it by myself, I have to suffer the constant pain of loss …

love, the experience we all live for, this sacred emotion we all starve for is the most beautiful and powerful force which builds us up, makes us strong and content, so when it is gone it’s changing into pain, distraction, weakness ….

I am scared of my thoughts, I am scared for my future …

talking to my soul and the source of life, asking them for help, guidance, strength, feels pointless, feels there is nothing of any sort to do anything for me, I have to do it all myself ….

knowing that I create with my thoughts and emotions is making me more helpless than ever, my future looks miserable ..

the only statement I can make right now, that is true for myself is ” I trust that George is safe, I trust that I will be with him again …”

what happened to us humans?? how is it possible that we allow, that we accept our lives being filled with misery, with pain, suffering …. we all suffer … we have to suffer, the matrix is created for it , the program is made by those who feed on our suffering, on our emotions, we are not the last one in the food chain …

the suffering will never end, unless we change the program and this can be done only when we raise our consciousness ….