who could i be ….

if i wasnt programmed from the moment i was born… isnt it something big to ponder upon????

I was born in communist country, my father was a very good man whose life was screwed by the war ( as all of the people there ), very smart, educated in best university, communist in heart, alcoholic … my mom was fighting for freedom from communism and ended up in jail for five years age eighteen, the man she loved got 20 years in prison, was released in 15 years, she married my dad for protection, they brought two girls to the communist farm …. my parents lives were brutal….

The first and the most important man in my life, my father, broke my heart!!

My grandfather, the only safety i had died in my first day in elementary school.

A family friend sexually molested me …

I finished university, thanks to my mother and right after married the wrong guy. During the church ceremony i couldnt say yes, because I was crying so heavily, I understood the reason for it much later.

There are different layers of programming. The parents who are passing their programming onto their children, schools, friends, churches, any kind of media, books, etc.

Few years ago i took a gram of magic mushrooms’ and went thru mild trip. I asked what is real about me and the answer was nothing. The advice i got was to observe myself as it is done by the real me!!